So it is Halloween and you don’t have a pumpkin but you still want the thrill of carving. Also, Halloween is on a Tuesday and you need a way to celebrate the holiday at work while dreaming of your childhood sitting around and gorging yourself with candy.

Since you are too old to trick or treat and being an adult is lame, carve yourself a virtual pumpkin.

In the comedy of errors that is the life of Anna Nicole Smith, we learn the model/reality TV star may have to exhume the body of her son Daniel from its burial place in the Bahamas. Anna may be deported from the Bahamas because she lied to the government to gain citizenship, so she’ll have to unbury the son it took her 39 days to bury to take him with her to the U.S. Once she gets here, she will, I’m sure, have to face Larry Birkhead’s paternity suit head-on. Since Anna’s been boinking her old lawyer and got ditched by her most recent one, she’ll have to find someone else willing to risk his reputation to defend her.

The rumors about the cause behind the Reese/Ryan split have already begun a-churnin’. Currently, we’re being told that Ryan was carrying on an affair with a Vancouver waitress while filming a movie in Canada. To which we reply, “Ryan Phillippe still makes movies?”

Young marriage doesn’t seem to work for Hollywood. Ask Jamie Lynn Sigler, Jessica Simpson, Kate Hudson, and now, sadly Reese Witherspoon. After months of speculation by the tabloids and many whisperings of arguments between this golden couple, they have decided to formally separate. According to a statement made by their representative to TMZ, “We are saddened to announce that Reese & Ryan have decided to formally separate. They remain committed to their family and we ask that you please respect their privacy and the safety of their children at this time.”

Evidently the split isn’t because of one specific thing but rather a “cumulative” series of problems. Maybe it is because he got loaded at her Golden Globes triumph. Maybe it is because he was emasculated by the fact that he was still “that hot guy from ‘Cruel Intentions’” and she was an A-list Hollywood star.

All snarkiness aside, they have two beautiful children and it is sad that they couldn’t make it work. Just last year when Reese won her Oscar she stated “I’m lucky to find a person to share my life, and the best friend I’ll ever have…I don’t think I can imagine a better guy than the one I’ve ended up with.”

Sad.

It’s been a rough weekend for Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan. Late last week, Richie checked into a treatment facility to determine “why she’s not been putting on any weight.” We in the gossip blogging community are proud to announce that we quickly helped her doctors solve that little mystery, because Richie was out and about on Saturday night, partying with Lohan.

Whatever Richie was ingesting that night (we’ve ruled out food) didn’t sit well with her, because she passed out at Hollywood club Hyde around 2 am on Sunday. The club manager wanted to call an ambulance, but Richie’s friends insisted they would take her to a hospital themselves, carrying the celebutante out the back door.

Lohan didn’t fare much better. She was spotted sitting in her car at 6:45 Sunday morning, convinced that the paparazzi tailing her were trying to hit her car. She seemed “out of it” and looked as though she’d been crying. My guess is she wasn’t driving to an early-morning mass after a good night’s sleep.

All this comes as News of the World releases an exclusive interview with Lohan, in which she talks about her battle with anorexia and bulimia. She discusses a night in 2004, where she feared for her life at the house of then-boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama. “I felt so sick,” she said. “I lay down on the bed and started getting these shooting pains. I was screaming, throwing things, because the pains were so intense in my head.” Regarding ex-boyfriend Harry Morton: “I have only been in love once and that was with Wilmer.” Ouch.

Joking aside, I hope Nicole and Lindsay become willing to take the actions they need to get healthy again. Come on, girls! Look at Courtney Love. You can still do strange, obnoxious, publicity-generating things — and we’ll still make fun of you — just do them sober.

Rapper Snoop Dogg is arrested on suspicion of illegal drug and gun possession. At an airport. If he were smart like Paris Hilton, he’d keep his damn weed in his teddy bear when traveling. [CelebSlam]

With a Teen People camera crew following her, Brooke Hogan spends $900 at LF in NYC. After the cameras leave, she sends a flack to return most of it. [Page Six]

Aw, Mischa Barton is crying. That means she’s hungry. [Celebrity Smack]

The extended trailer for the sixth season of 24 is online, so you can have some brand new imagery for your Jack Bauer fantasies. [Tabloid Whore]

Check out side-by-side pictures of Madonna in 1979 and daughter Lourdes this year. My guess is little David will not bear the same resemblance. [WOW Report]

Steve Irwin’s widow is not happy that the guys from South Park are already poking fun at his death. [HGW]