Sit back, relax, and enjoy the six-minute Gap commercial that is JT’s “My Love” video.

Although her publicist is still keeping busy making denials (I assume in an attempt to increase publicity surrounding the event), as E! Online says, “we’ll just have to settle for the word of the child’s father and a Malawi village chief and the director of the orphanage and an African judge and a pastor and the secretary for the Ministry for Gender and Child Welfare.”

The deputy registrar at a local courthouse tells Reuters that “Madonna and the husband filed their papers for an interim order this morning at Lilongwe High Court, and the judge gave the ruling at 2 p.m. this afternoon.”

The lucky little man is one-year-old David Banda, whose father placed him in an orphanage after his mother died days after his birth due to complications. “I am very happy,” says the father. “As you can see, there is poverty in my village. I know he will be very happy in America.” Although Madonna and her husband, Guy Ritchie, currently live in Britain (Duh, isn’t it obvious from her accent? Madonna was clearly not born and raised in Detroit), I suppose it’s still a small step up from a Malawi orphanage. Congratulations to The Ritchies, and to the luckiest adoptee since Baby Suri!

That Brody Jenner sure knows how to keep his name in the papers. In July, the Princes of Malibu star (well, he was the star for all two episodes that aired) broke up with Laguna Hills demon Kristin Cavallari, and the nation breathed a sigh of relief, thinking we’d never see or hear from him again. But we were wrong. He quickly hitched his wagon to the galloping publicity horse that is Nicole Richie. She ditched him last week.

Uh oh! How will the 23-year-old rich kid ever be relevant now? Hm. Maybe if he decided to hook up with Kristin Cavallari’s longtime nemesis, Lauren Conrad. Yeah, that would probably do the trick. Might even come with a guest spot on LC’s latest reality show, The Hills. Good thinking, Brody!

Update: BWE just totally called the parallel between Jenner’s Laguna Beach double dipping and Adam Duritz’s Jen Aniston/Courtney Cox fuckfest back in the day.

• Is Natalie Portman dating British billionaire Nat Rotschild? Say it ain’t so!
• Mary-Kate Olsen is totally her new boyfriend’s Mini Me.
• While taping Oprah on Wednesday, Jennfer Aniston claims she and Vince Vaughn have not broken up, but also notes that they’re not engaged. Um, did anyone mention to Ms. Aniston that there are pictures of the man she’s not broken up with making out with a woman who’s not her floating all over the Internet?
• I’d be excited to run into Counting Crows’ Adam Duritz pretty much anywhere, with the exception being on my boyfriend’s back. (In tattoo form.)
• I haven’t written much (read: anything) about the YouTube channel Diddy started with Burger King; while I consider myself Web 2.0-savvy, I have to admit, I just don’t understand how it could possibly work. I feel a little better about that, now, because neither does most of the country.
• Premiere Magazine lists The 50 Biggest Hollywood Disasters, for your trainwreck-viewing pleasure.

The casting (and cosmetic skin-darkening) of Angelina Jolie as the mixed-race Marianne Pearl in the upcoming A Mighty Heart, about the life and death of journalist Daniel Pearl, is reportedly drawing some criticism.

“I had assumed that the days when white actors took on the roles of black people had long passed away… There are mixed-race or black actresses who could have done a damn good job in this role,” says the blogger at BlackLooks.org, continuing that “what is taking place here is an act of arrogance and whitewashing by people who think that because they are super-rich they can be anything they want.”

What does the actual Marianne Pearl think of all this? “I’m delighted Angelina Jolie will be playing my role. I deeply admire her work.”

Honestly, what’s retarded to me about all this is that the BlackLooks.org blogger wrote this stuff in mid-July. Personally, I agree with very little of what she says, but why is it surfacing in mid-October? Is it because now we have photos from the set of Angie with dark skin (which appears to be perfectly tastefully done)? Are we vamping up the publicity process for the movie via a single blogger whose opinion, voiced briefly nearly three months ago, is being twisted to represent that of the entire African American community? Did no one else actually visit BlackLooks.org to read the blogger’s comments in context?

Much to-do has been made this morning about the latest Us Weekly cover featuring Tara Reid and her shameless ploy for publicity plastic surgery nightmare. If you’d like some choice quotes from Tara regarding her botched boobies, you can read them here.

What I’d like to discuss today is the quote run on the cover: “I’ll never be perfect again.”

I love this. It’s quintessential Tara. The implication that she was, at any point, perfect, is insane to me. Where on the timeline of your career were you previously perfect, Tara? Did it coincide in any way with Taradise? With your ill-advised engagement to Carson Daly? With Josie and the Pussycats? I’m just wondering.

Oh, this is so sad. This post was supposed to be much, much funnier. I heard a little rumor that there was a scuffle on the set of Grey’s Anatomy, between Dempsey and Isaiah Washington, so I checked out Grey’s Anatomy Insider for more information. For those of you who actually cared about this — they fought because they’re incredibly vain (and prolly jealous that hottie Eric Dane officially joined the cast), and then they made up, and said incredibly vain and vaguely homoerotic things to the press. Good? Good.

Because it’s all downhill from there.

I figured while I was on the GA Insider, I’d check around and see if there was anything else of interest to me. And was there ever! If by “interesting” you mean “emotionally crippling,” of course.

Look at this:

Dane is married to actress Rebecca Gayheart, who fans may remember from Noxzema commercials, a stint on Beverly Hills: 90210 and other roles.

Damn you, Noxzema Girl! First you take Dylan McKay, and then, when we think you’re good and dead at the hands of his father’s ruthless enemies, you swoop back in and take McSteamy. I hate you.