If I want to post the video for J.C. Chasez’s “All Day Long I Dream About Sex”, from 2004’s Schizophrenic, just because I think it is gloooooorious, then that is what I will do.

Katie Holmes’ Catholic parents have threatened to boycott her wedding to Tom Cruise if it’s held in the Scientologist tradition. They also object to the Rob Thomas mask he insists she wear throughout the ceremony.

Over four years after the accusations surfaced, R. Kelly’s trial for urinating on an underage girl (and videotaping it) begins in Chicago.

No, not like that.

I have no idea why it’s clips day today, but it is. I found this old MadTV parody of Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica on Wampoon, and I’m posting it because:

a) It’s really funny.
b) Jessica Alba looks hot in it, and I’ve heard that all three of the heterosexual male readers of this site enjoy looking at Jessica Alba, particularly when she looks hot.

• Sofia Coppola’s job requires her to watch her cousin get nasty. Weird.

• Christina Aguilera takes a cue from Pink, pees wherever.

• This week’s Lindsay Lohan crotch shot. I’m pretty sure she’s not wearing underwear, but at least she remembered to wear cheesy black nylons.

• There’s no specific item to link to here, but if you’re not reading The Gilded Moose at least once a week, you’re not really living. I can’t stress this point enough.

• Even David Letterman can’t salvage a Nicky Hilton interview.

• VH1 takes on the daunting task of counting down the Dumbest Celebrity Quotes. From our darling drunkie, Tara Reid: “I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.”

Update: I just rewatched that Nicky Hilton interview, and I’ve decided people are being too hard on her for it. She carries herself extremely well and with a great deal of class. Her composure and refusal to tag along with Letterman on his dirt-fishing expedition don’t make her boring, just a more tolerable human being than her sister. We hate Paris for being unnecessarily obnoxious and stirring up drama in front of a national audience, and now we’re going to diss Nicky for doing the exact opposite? I may lose my official gossip blogger card for this, but I call bullshit. No, she’s not particularly funny (at least not on purpose), but she’s never claimed to be. You’re alright in my book tonight, Nicky.

I guess she’s not really a new artist, per se, but she’s new to me. Check out the video for “Goodnight and Go,” from her Speak for Yourself album. Thanks to Tiffy for the heads-up on her.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX68zORHyH0]

Not sure what made me think of this, but for some reason that god-awful Tori Amos Daily Show interview popped into my head today. I thought it might be on YouTube, and, sure enough, it was. Now, my friends will attest that I am a HUGE Toriphile, as well as a HUGE Stewartphile (there’s not really a cutesy name for Stewart fans…I guess we can just go with “Democrats”), so this interview was terribly disappointing for me, and really tested my allegiance to Tori. I still love her, though, so I’m throwing the “Sorta Fairytale” video on here, too.

Update: Am I absolutely crazy, or is the guy in this video Adrien Brody?

It’s Jessica Coen’s last day at Gawker, and out of a loyalty to someone I adored before I even knew her name (and who, to this day, has yet to reciprocate on either count), I just want to state for the record that I, too, think Star EIC Joe Dolce is a total douchebag.

Good luck at Vanity Fair, Jessica.

Oh, and I applied for your job. Put in a good word with Lockhart.