"It’s Like, Yeah, Motherfucker, My Bag’s Fine"
September 8th, 2006 by Evil BeetUgh. I am, like, soooo late on the draw with this one. So a recap.
Lindsay Lohan’s Birkin was stolen at Heathrow airport, which was, like, recently the target of some manner of foiled terrorist plot, so it’s nice to see they’ve really driven security into high gear over there. Lindsay cried because if there’s anything that sucks worse than losing a Hermes bag containing over $1M in jewelry and your asthma inhaler, it’s losing a Hermes bag containing over $1M in jewelry and the rest of your cocaine. You’d cry, too.
Don’t panic yet, folks; the bag was recently found in a parking lot near Heathrow, after whoever stole it realized that it’s a lot harder to sell jewelry and a handbag on the black market when everyone in the nearest 19 countries knows you stole them from Lindsay Lohan this morning. But you know what tastes the same in every language? Yeah. Don’t count on getting that “inhaler” back, Linds.
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ya know it is really sad that everyone worries so much about the “stars” and not enough about “important” things.
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Humph. Someone has to force me to read this post. It’s too big and boring. Brevity is the sister of talent, remember that.
Your blog is getting better and better! Previous posts were good, but this one is just FABULOUS.