• Bridget Grish doesn’t care if you look at her tits. Her mySpace page? That’s different.
• George Clooney is rumored to be dating Ellen Barkin. If you don’t know who Ellen Barkin is, you’re in good company. She’s in Oceans 13 right now, and she’s credited in films going back to 1978 (which is approximately when I’d guess her IMDB photo was taken), but she’s essentially a no-name, and an aging one at that (birth date on IMDB: April 16, 1954). Could it be that George Clooney wants to build a true, lasting relationship with an emotional peer? Hmm. Nah. It’s a really clever PR stunt, though. Way more subtle than inventing a baby.
• James Lipton from Inside the Actors Studio recites lyrics to “K-Fed Freestyle” on Conan O’Brian. Then he takes a beer bong. Poorly. Like pre-frosh from Minnesota poorly. Thanks to Tiffany at PopCultureWhore for the link.

In case the Emmy results you care about do not completely overlap with the Emmy results that I care about, the LA Times has the budget to put together the whole list.

I’m a pretty happy Beet about all this; I am thrilled that The Office won; I’m always happy to see Jon Stewart do well; it’s good to see Mariska Hargitay recognized for holding her own against Chris Meloni all these years (I’m sorry but Kathryn Erbe may as well have been a Maltese in Vincent D’Onofrio’s Louis Vuitton); and as long as we’re lauding women here, how fabulous that the Seinfeld Curse was not only broken but spit and menstruated upon by Julia Louis-Dreyfus after all the men tried and failed; and Megan Mullally ought to be voted President of our country, but I guess an Emmy is an okay start.

The only thing I’m mildly annoyed with is the Blythe Danner win. I would have liked to see that go to Chandra Wilson or Sandra Oh, but Chandra will have other chances, I’m sure, and I suppose Sandra can cry herself to sleep clutching her Golden Globe.

Most importantly, Joan Rivers conducted her 1000th red carpet interview (with Debra Messing). Unfortunately, it aired on the TV Guide channel. I love Joan Rivers, and I’m bummed she’s not on E! anymore. Mostly, though, I’ll always pine for that one year long, long ago when they let Kathy Griffin do the red carpet interviews. She asked the kids from Arrested Development if they had any weed. It was probably the highlight of my life, and I pray each night that someone will give her a second chance.

This woman looks strangely like Teri Hatcher. Taking a cue from Ryan Seacrest, are we, Matty?

[ICYDK has more of this charade]

The eight of you who followed the plot of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest will be relieved to know the filming of the third edition is in full swing out here in Los Angeles. I’d typically make some reference now to the cliffhanger at the end of the last one, and how it will be duly resolved, but after the investment of three hours of my life that I will never get back, I have absolutely no idea what happened in that movie. There was a sword fight on some manner of wheel and a Johnny Depp character better suited to The Birdcage, but everything else went right past me. But since most of the known world saw it anyway, I can’t really blame Disney for trudging forward with another.

They’re filming the Black Pearl scenes right now off the coast of Palos Verdes (across from Joe’s Crab Shack for those of you who want to go a-stalkin’). A few of my more nautical cohorts went sailing out there this afternoon and sent me some photos of the crew setting up. They didn’t stick around for the actors to show, but they did get a shot of Depp’s yacht, which is where I imagine he meets up with Tim Burton for a little pitching and catching. If anyone’s got pics of filming with the actors, send ‘em to evilbeet@gmail.com, and I’ll give credit where credit is due.

• Americans nationwide unite for the single purpose of helping CBS generate buzz for its upcoming season of Survivor: Racism, and the ever-observant Rush Limbaugh just wants to do his part to help. From E! Online: Hispanics, he said, “have shown a remarkable ability to cross borders” and “will do things other people won’t do.” Asians, per Limbaugh, are “the best at espionage, keeping secrets.” Blacks “lack buoyancy” and are “more likely to drown,” while the white man’s burden will weigh down the last team with “guilt over the fact that they run things.” I hope someone has thought to award this man an honorary Ph.D.
• Douglas L. Hall has written a script for Angelina Jolie. Would you like to read it? Now you can, at www.myscriptforangelinajolie.com.
• Jesse McCartney would like to take back what he said about Jennifer Lopez. If only he could do the same thing for the entirety of Summerland.
• Check out this video of two Chinese students lip-syncing to Jessica Simpson’s “A Public Affair.” Pay special attention to the motionless kid in the background who quietly plays a first-person shooter game on his computer while his roommates sing their hearts out. Thanks to Anna for the link.

Just a few random clips I thought I’d leave for anyone who swings by this weekend.

Remember when Jessie Spano was abusing caffeine pills? Yes, you do. You reminisce about it at least once weekly with your friends. Unless you’re one of the people who keeps showing up on this site searching for Cacee Cobb and Donald Faison, in which case you are 14 at best, and the only thing you know about Mark-Paul Gosselaar is that he died in a car accident at least 5 times before you finished elementary school.

Speaking of Donald Faison’s love interests, here’s Garden State as a horror trailer, via The Trailer Mash.

And last but not least, probably the most appropriate use of a treadmill I’ve seen in years. Thanks to Alex for the link.

• That girl with two vaginas? She has a blog now.
• 24-year-old fashion assistant Bridget Grish gets fired from Life & Style after her amateur porn videos show up on the web. There’s a lesson in there somewhere, I’m sure of it.
• Harry Morton — La Lohan’s latest squeeze — wants to lend his Mexican-cum-vagina-themed restaurant’s name, Pink Taco, to the Arizona Cardinals new stadium. There’s an Arizona-Cardinals-are-pussies joke to be made here, but after writing the previous sentence, I’m in no mood to think it up.
• No one wants to see the AmIdol tour. Which is surprising only when you consider that the So You Think You Can Dance tour is selling out most cities in minutes. Maybe next season they should divide the performers up by race.