“I would rather have a prostate exam on live television by a guy with very cold hands than have a Facebook page”.

- George Clooney on his hatred of social networking.

I’ve definitely heard other people have the same views on Facebook, but I don’t get it.  Personally, I love being able to catch up with the BFF I haven’t seen since seventh grade and seeing just how many bitches from high school are now absolute train wrecks.  What about you guys?  Is Facebook a good time, or would you rather drop your pants alongside George?

Photo via Celebitchy

Laurence Fishburne’s 19-year-old daughter, Montana, wants to follow in her father’s footsteps by becoming a movie star. Unfortunately, she chose a really, really poor way to go about that:  porn.

From TMZ:

TMZ has learned Montana Fishburne is starring in a porno flick for Vivid Entertainment – explaining, “I’ve watched how successful Kim Kardashian became and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape.”

Unlike the celeb she admires — Montana, who also goes by the name “Chippy D,” is not arguing that her tape was stolen or obtained illegally.

We’re told the flick is set to be released in August.

There are so many things that are wrong with this.  She’s 19, and it’s not like 19-year-olds are known for making solid choices. She’s Laurence Fishburne’s daughter, so can’t she get her dad to make a couple phone calls or something instead of jumping right into porn?  She looks just like Laurence, so it’s going to be really weird to see her in porn.  Also, did no one tell her that Kim Kardashian’s tape was an amateur thing and that it was “accidentally” released?  That’s a far cry from doing an actual adult film.  It’s also really sad that she seems to think it’s going to help her develop a legitimate career.

Here’s a mental exercise:  think of all the porn stars who are also taken seriously as actors and make a list.  Can you think of any?  Yeah, neither can I.  Tough break, Montana.

I saw these photos and I had to share them with you because they are like, such a moment in time. It’s Ann-Margret celebrating her Emmy Nomination (a couple weeks late?) with the stars of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. These photos are more or less everything I love about entertainment in one photo: old school babes, sex crimes, Christopher Meloni and beautiful flowers. If Nicki Minaj could rap over these photos, they’d be perfect. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

We don’t normally cover the comic book beat, but we do cover the “awesome gay stuff” beat, so here’s this: The new issue of Spiderman is going to have a gay couple getting their make out on on the front cover! Is big deal? No! And that’s what’s so great about it. A milestone perhaps, but definitely not a big deal. It’s just two dudes making out in the park, as two people in love have to right to do.

Here’s the plot of this Spidey installment for any of you who give a care:

Poor Peter Parker. All his friends hate him, his girlfriend has stopped speaking to him and to top it off, the whole world despises Spider-Man. What’s a dude to do?? How about save the world and maybe meet the new love of his life? Fan-favorite BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS (NEW AVENGERS) and rising Ultimate sensation, SARA PICHELLI (RUNAWAYS) bring you a new and exciting Spider-Man story you don’t want to miss!!

The issue comes out 10/27 and while I don’t know anything about graphic novels and their collectability (Shhh, yes. That is a word.) , I’d say that that this might be an issue you want to get your hands on and keep in a plastic envelope for your great grandkids to sell when they’re about to lose their home.

We’ve definitely heard what Mel Gibson has to say about “the tapes”, but until now we’ve really heard very little, if anything, from Oksana Grigorieva, the target of Mel’s brutal rants. Oksana spoke with Radar about the recordings and for real? I don’t think this chick’s a bad person.

In the interview Oksana doesn’t elaborate much, but generally confirms that she released the tapes for her own safety and to force Mel to leave her alone. She says that any accusations of an extortion plot are lies made up by Mel as part of a smear campaign against her. None of this comes across as particularly convincing, but it’s also believable.

One piece of information that Oksana offered was very interesting, however. She said that the tapes are actually just a tape. All the recordings were all from the same night. Meaning Mel made nearly ten rambling, threatening phone calls in just a few hours. I’m not sure if that’s better or worse than if they were spread out over time, but it explains why they were all recorded in the first place. Oksana told Radar, “Everything, by the way, this is really important, all the tapes that you hear on the Internet, all of them were recorded that one night. The tapes, as you call them, the voicemails, everything was recorded that night because I was in fear for my life.”

That paints a pretty nasty picture, huh? A mother at home receiving a series of phone calls from the man who she counts on for financial support threatening her physically? Terrifying. I’m not sure if she went about outing Mel as a monster in the right way, but I can’t say I blame her.

Damn. Time is wild, when you think about it. I mean, there was no way we could have ever predicted that the pants-dropping white rapper from Boston would one day grow up to be a credible actor and producer. In a way, Mark Wahlberg getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame is inspirational to hacky performers and D-listers everywhere. Ke$ha, one day you could be one of the most powerful movie executives in Hollywood. Nicky Hilton, one day your name could be next to Capra and Scorsese on a short list of the best directors of all time. Guys, before we die, do you realize that we could see Justin Bieber win an Oscar for Best Song? Or even Best Supporting Actor?

Hollywood, man. You are one crunk bitch.

Tyson Beckford (yeah, remember him?) is still on his game. [Celebslam]

Please don’t tell me someone actually had the nerve (and bad judgement … and scruples) to stick silicone implants in young Ali Lohan’s chest. [Celebitchy]

It’s about damned time Marky-Mark Wahlberg got a star on the Walk of Fame. [popbytes]

Kate Beckinsale for the Total Recall reboot? Yes on Kate, no on the remake. [Pajiba]

Even the Brits think Lady Gaga’s an asshat. She’d probably wear that, too. [Amy Grindhouse]

Amanda Seyfried and Julianne Moore do crazy lesbian-like things together. NSFW. [CityRag]

Alicia Keys got married! [Pop on the Pop]

The weirdest, most uncomfortable thing I’ve watched in a long time … and I’m still deciding if it’s funny. Or just weird. Hats off to you, Britney. [OMGBlog]

Madonna should have the same kinds of treatments on her hands that she’s clearly having on her face. Gross, Vadge. [Celebrity Smack Blog]

Another sexed-up Russian spy hits the US, will probably break into pornos. [Zelda Lily]

Harry Potter Daniel Radcliffe turned twenty-one yesterday, and we’ve got the photos documenting his good time.

Dan’s really seemed to come into his own, and regardless of what he does in the future, he’ll always have a legacy of good acting to fall back on — even if his heyday was playing a school-aged wizard in my favorite movies of all time.

I don’t care how many times you show your penis on stage, you’ll always be Harry Potter to me, and I’m OK with that, friend.

Happy Birthday!

So, it looks like Ellen DeGeneres and Kara DioGuardi are leaving American Idol this season, and it looks like J. Lo (does she even go by “J. Lo” anymore, or is it back to Jennifer Lopez again? I never do know.) is slated to take Ellen’s place. According to Ellen, the show just wasn’t a fit:

“A couple months ago, I let FOX and the American Idol producers know that this didn’t feel like the right fit for me … I told them I wouldn’t leave them in a bind and that I would hold off on doing anything until they were able to figure out where they wanted to take the panel next. It was a difficult decision to make, but my work schedule became more than I bargained for. I also realized this season that while I love discovering, supporting and nurturing young talent, it was hard for me to judge people and sometimes hurt their feelings. I loved the experience working on Idol and I am very grateful for the year I had, I am a huge fan of the show and will continue to be.”

As for why Kara’s leaving? According to TMZ, she was fired. FIRED. STBY, Kara. You never really did it for me, anyway. And there’s a possibility of Steven Tyler taking Kara’s place? Damn. Producers are really pulling out the big guns: Jennifer Lopez! Steven Tyler! Randy Jackson! Starring in: It’s Not Even American Idol Anymore, Who the Fuck’s Gonna Watch This Shit Now!