“There’s not a better job on the planet than judging that fucking karaoke contest. It might be possible, we’ll see. They’d have to pay me a ton of dough because I already make a ton of dough.”
I know Kelly expressed yesterday that she’s not a huge Stern fan, but me? I LOVE Howard and I think that him becoming a judge on American Idol would be one of the best things to happen to television ever. Remember how crazy things got over at The View when Rosie took over for Meredith Vierra? You stick Howard Stern and his ego next to Ellen and her ego and Randy Jackson and whatever entitlement issues he has from being the only original remaining judge, and you’ve got yourself an explosive combo. Oh yeah, and that other chick judge who is invisible to me. She’ll still be there too. I am totally hoping this happens.
You guys watch Community? OK, well, it’s good and you should watch it if you don’t, but if you do, you know Donald Glover, who plays Troy. During his downtime, Don recorded a mixtape under the name Childish Gambino and released it on his website for free. And it’s sick. His lyrics are tight and funny and his skill level is surprisingly good.
Rapping over bands like Grizzly Bear and Animal Collective, Childish Gambino tells us what it’s like to be the most fashionable young TV actor in the game. On my favorite track, “My Girls”, he also gives some insight to what it’s like to date a dude whose job lends to a player lifestyle. You can download parts 1 and 2 of his mixtape “I Am Just a Rapper” here and here.
Listen to “New Prince (Crown On the Ground)” here:
Bored single woman with absolutely nothing to do, Kate Gosselin, finally gave in to the fact that she hated her seven-thousand dollar extensions and chopped them all off. It’s unclear if the thought came to her after her tanning appointment or before her mani/pedi, but you know how us free-spirited single women are! When we have to do something about our look, we just have to do something about our look! What other priorities do we have beside making sure our shit’s on point? Nothing. There’s nothing for us to do. That’s why we’re single. We’re like a herd of wild, gorgeous mustangs with nothing on our schedules except running free and making sure we have plenty of time to just “do us”.
Now that her look is perfected, what do you think a woman like Kate can do with all that free time on her hands? Perhaps she can take a ceramics class where she can meet other young women who aren’t tied down and they can all bond over margaritas and boy talk at the local Chili’s after. I don’t know! Just an idea! I’m running late for my laser hair-removal appointment, but I’ll check back in with you later!
OK, I’m sure it’s a little funny to some of you and that’s fine, but you should know that it makes you a bad person. Look at Kendra Wilkinson! My big-breasted girlfriend was seen crying her pretty little eyes out as she left the Superbowl stadium yesterday after watching her husbo more or less lose the big game for his team. The hysterics seem like a bit much considering, you know, he lost the Superbowl and it’s a pretty big deal that he made it there in the first place, but you gotta love how supportive and loyal Kendra is. Also, it makes my uterus ache thinking about her little baby wrapped up in that blanket, too young to ever remember a day that his hot mom carried him out of a stadium crying after his father blew the biggest game of the year. They have to be the most perfect family ever. This gallery is like some modern-day Norman Rockwell shit minus the father and plus a lot of tears.
We thought it was done between Lindsay and Samantha, but that’s why we’re a bunch of idiots. Of course these two can keep their hands off of each other… except this time it’s less “heavy petting” and more “heavy beating”, if you know what I mean. If you don’t know what I mean, let me spell it out for you: These two broads have turned on each other and their relationship, according to sources, has gotten violent. From Radar:
“One time I saw her [Lindsay] and she had a large welt on her head,” the source told RadarOnline.com. “She told me that Sam beat the (bleep) out of her.
“She also said that Sam even punched and choked her one time.”
Yikes! And to add insult to injury (pun very much intended) these two crazy cats are living in the same building. If Lindsay’s bank account is in as much trouble as it’s rumored to be, Sam better be the one to make the move because I don’t think Lindsay even has the choice to go anywhere else. The source also told Radar:
“It’s so twisted. They’re not together, but they are,” said the source. “I never thought I’d ever say this, but I really do feel sorry for Lindsay. She is just lost. She’s alone. She has no friends to turn to.”
This is a seriously unhealthy situation for both parties. Last time I was in a relationship this tumultuous and immature, I know it would have gone on forever if it wasn’t time for me to go to college.
They’re too old for their families to control their lives and make them move on (although Samantha’s family has tried), but they’re probably so young that they can still handle this much drama and bullshit. What’s going to be the last straw for these two?
Sarah Silverman did a little interview with MTV this weekend and when they asked her about her opinion on marriage in a country where gay marriage doesn’t exists, Sarah went from funny to serious in a millisecond. What she had to say is transcribed here, although I would take a moment to watch her say it yourself if you can:
“Not only would I not get married, it actually actively bums me out that anyone who is for equal rights would get married right now. There’s nothing different between that and joining a country club that doesn’t allow blacks or Jews back then. Who needs to get married that bad that they’ll be a part of a club like that? This is embarrassing. It’s embarrassing.”
I know we talk about this issue a lot over here and well, everywhere, but when it’s said as plainly as this, you cannot hear it enough. We’re living in a country that’s treating homosexuals in the same abhorable way that blacks and Jews and Irish and whomever we decided we hated for a period in time were treated. That’s so fucked up. Something has to change because, like the reporter starts to say in the video, in 50 years we will all look back and be so ashamed that we lived in a country where this kind of exclusion and hatred was going on.
I don’t know who played in the Superbowl yesterday. I don’t know who did the halftime show. I know that chips were on sale at my grocery store and that I didn’t have to deal with any of the annoying men in my life for 24 whole hours. So that’s my “Superbowl round-up” for ya. Hope you loved it.
I did, however, make sure to note one of the important things that came out of the whole event: Brad and Angie went to the game together and they brought their son Maddox, so I’m guessing that they still don’t hate each other. In fact, they were seen snuggling in the stands and laughing and being lovey-dovey and all that crap that couples do when they care about “making it work”. The two were there to support New Orleans, whose team I have been informed via this People Magazine piece was playing yesterday. Obviously the town is important to Brad and the couple has spent a lot of time there since hurricane Katrina rebuilding and donating money to the community.
Check out these photos of Angelina arriving in Miami yesterday to watch the big game with her man:
